Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Day 2

OK, it has been over 48 hours since I have smoked a cigarette. I really could use a smoke right now. It is 25 degrees outside and I love to smoke in the cold weather.

I never smoked in my house and I can't smoke indoors at my work. I think this is a good thing. My nerves are a little frayed from not smoking. Surprisingly I am not at all irritable, but I have not gone to work yet. Tomorrow will be my first day of work(hopefully smoke free). Both of the guys I car pool with smoke. They like to meet at the car pool early and smoke a cig before we head off to work this is going to be a serious hurdle for me. I love free smokes.

As far as today goes I should be able to tough it out. It is simply too damn cold to go to the store and get a pack, even though I have gone out in blizzard conditions, level 4 thunderstorms, hurricanes and blazing heat to get my fix.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Day 1

Today I spent all day out Xmas shopping. I don't thin the temperature got above 25 degrees. I drove home in rush hour traffic, rounded up all the bad little kids (ages 7, 6, and 3) put those suckers to bed and had to figure out how to start a freaking blog.

For me, one of  the worst time for a jonesing for a cigarette fix is after I eat. My mouth waters and I am actually not even full until after I smoke. I also love to smoke when I drive, especially when I have to drive in traffic, and my third trigger is I like to smoke after all the kids have been settled down for the night. So on day 1 of not smoking, I have identified 3 of my most commons triggers for lighting up.

Man do i want to smoke right now. Anyways, if I can eliminate eating, driving, and putting my kids to bed I will have eliminated 3 of my most common triggers. Easy Peasey.

A Quitters Journal

Like most young men going from adolescence to manhood, the call of a pretty girl is irresistible. This was definitely true in my case. I had a serious crush on an older girl. She was beautiful, sexy, sophisticated, intelligent, and she smoked Camel wide mouth lights.

I went through the majority of my high school years hating cigarette smokers. Their breath and clothes reeked it was expensive, and you could get in trouble if caught. I did not understand the fascination these kids had for the smokes. That is until I met her...the girl who got me hooked.

I started smoking my senior year, and no I wasn't buying packs of smokes at the time but I smoked when I was around her. My circle of friends quickly expanded, and I found myself hanging around the same people I spent so much time hating. I was becoming a smoker.

I bought my first pack on Grad Night. I felt pretty bad ass smoking at Disneyland.  At this time my girlfriend, my family, and most of my close friends didn't no I was smoking, and I preferred it that way. I hid my smoking like a junkie hides their drugs.

After high school I enlisted in the Navy. If I ever had a chance to make a clean break from smoking, boot camp would be the time. I wasn't hooked yet, I had only bought like 2 packs of smokes, and I would be locked away at the Hotel California (Naval Recruiting Center) for 9 weeks unable to enjoy the smoky sweet tobacco.

I left boot camp and never thought about cigarettes or smoking the whole time I was on leave. However, this was all going to change. I arrived at Air Traffic Control School in Memphis(actually Millington), TN. in October. After only a couple of weeks I fell in love with a beautiful southern belle. She was cute, sexy, sophisticated, intelligent, and she smoked Marlboro lights.

I immediately went to the exchange on base and bought a pack a smokes. I used the smokes as my  "in" with the cute southern belle, and it worked. We had a glorious relationship that eventually faded but what remained was an even stronger love affair. The one between me and cigarettes.

I have tried to quit about 5 or 6 time over the past 18 years, but I have always failed. The longest time I have went was about six months. But everyday of that 6 months was a battle. The desire to smoke never went away or diminished. I would dream about smoking, think about the cigarettes when I drove or after I ate. On a drunken night, with old Navy buddies in town, I broke down and accepted the will of my Master, the cigarette.

Now as I approach my 37th birthday, I realize it is time again to quit. I am going to catalog my quitting experience, and hopefully this will give me the motivation I need to get that damn monkey off my freaking back. My last official cigarette was Monday Dec 13th at 0700 am. So it has been over 36 hours since i have smoked (writing this by the way makes me want a smoke real bad).