Like most young men going from adolescence to manhood, the call of a pretty girl is irresistible. This was definitely true in my case. I had a serious crush on an older girl. She was beautiful, sexy, sophisticated, intelligent, and she smoked Camel wide mouth lights.
I went through the majority of my high school years hating cigarette smokers. Their breath and clothes reeked it was expensive, and you could get in trouble if caught. I did not understand the fascination these kids had for the smokes. That is until I met her...the girl who got me hooked.
I started smoking my senior year, and no I wasn't buying packs of smokes at the time but I smoked when I was around her. My circle of friends quickly expanded, and I found myself hanging around the same people I spent so much time hating. I was becoming a smoker.
I bought my first pack on Grad Night. I felt pretty bad ass smoking at Disneyland. At this time my girlfriend, my family, and most of my close friends didn't no I was smoking, and I preferred it that way. I hid my smoking like a junkie hides their drugs.
After high school I enlisted in the Navy. If I ever had a chance to make a clean break from smoking, boot camp would be the time. I wasn't hooked yet, I had only bought like 2 packs of smokes, and I would be locked away at the Hotel California (Naval Recruiting Center) for 9 weeks unable to enjoy the smoky sweet tobacco.
I left boot camp and never thought about cigarettes or smoking the whole time I was on leave. However, this was all going to change. I arrived at Air Traffic Control School in Memphis(actually Millington), TN. in October. After only a couple of weeks I fell in love with a beautiful southern belle. She was cute, sexy, sophisticated, intelligent, and she smoked Marlboro lights.
I immediately went to the exchange on base and bought a pack a smokes. I used the smokes as my "in" with the cute southern belle, and it worked. We had a glorious relationship that eventually faded but what remained was an even stronger love affair. The one between me and cigarettes.
I have tried to quit about 5 or 6 time over the past 18 years, but I have always failed. The longest time I have went was about six months. But everyday of that 6 months was a battle. The desire to smoke never went away or diminished. I would dream about smoking, think about the cigarettes when I drove or after I ate. On a drunken night, with old Navy buddies in town, I broke down and accepted the will of my Master, the cigarette.
Now as I approach my 37th birthday, I realize it is time again to quit. I am going to catalog my quitting experience, and hopefully this will give me the motivation I need to get that damn monkey off my freaking back. My last official cigarette was Monday Dec 13th at 0700 am. So it has been over 36 hours since i have smoked (writing this by the way makes me want a smoke real bad).
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